Most Nights
by fluffytalon
Summary: Your name is Eren You pick fights, but can't finish You spent years of training in You learned to survive, fight, and work with a Above all, you met


Your name is Eren Jaeger. You pick fights, but can't finish them. You spent years of training in hell. You learned to survive, fight, and work with a team. Above all, you met Him.

You serve under Him. While He gives the commands, you offer your life. You've seen people die. You've seen people fail. What you have seen could never match up to what He has seen.

When your relationship with Him had escalated, it started out slow. He refused to see you during the day. Your meetings would only occur in the privacy of His quarters.

Your relationship began to bloom. You would glance at Him in the dining hall, and see that from the corner of His eye, He was looking at you. You would take a drink just to hide the smile on your face. When He would pass by you, He'd look around to avoid any unwanted eyes, and steal a kiss. Sometimes two. You grabbed His arm, asking Him to stay, just for another minute. He kept walking.

You admire His determination. You began to see Him in ways that you were sure no one else could see. There were moments where you would catch Him smirking at something, or someone He was talking to. You noticed the way His eyebrows furrowed when He was thinking, or the way His finger sometimes tapped on a table in a steady beat. It was little, almost unnoticeable things that consumed your mind.

You excel in hand to hand combat. You're always open to a good spar for some pointers. He happens to be your favorite sparring partner.

He knows how to challenge you. He can point out your weak points just by looking at the way you position yourself.

"You're standing there like you're about to take a shit," He prods. "I thought you were an expert in hand to hand combat in training?"

You come to your defense. "Of course I am," you mutter. "You're intimidating me." You start to adjust your stance, hoping to make it look a little less awkward.

He shows one of his rare sliver of a smile. "Intimidating enough to trick you, apparently. Your stance was fine."

Embarrassed, you fix your stance one last time. You can see the approval on His face.

He's the first one to strike, but you're able to block the attack almost flawlessly. You twist His arm against His back, and for a moment, He struggles. "You have a strong hold," He praises.

"Thanks," you say with a smile before releasing Him.

* * *

Sometimes, you find a free hour or so to finally spend time alone with Him. The captain's quarters are much more luxurious than that of a soldier.

He keeps His cabin clean. Not just picking up uniforms to be washed. He _really_ keeps it clean. You're not surprised by this after coming here for so many nights. You lay on His bed. He lays next to you. You're both on your backs, facing the woodwork of the ceiling.

This isn't right. Normally He talks. Normally He isn't this distant. You reach for His hand but He doesn't return the affection. You don't think much of it and start counting the boards in the ceiling.

"I'm tired," He says.

You smile. "Go to sleep," you laugh lightly. "I'm pretty close to falling asleep too. Did you know that you get _really_ cuddly when you sleep? I'm not complaining, but when it's so _hot_ outside-"

"I'm _tired_."

Your expression falls. You see why He was being so distant. You see it in His face. He was exhausted. Fighting in this war took a toll on everyone, but for Him... He had a weight on His shoulders that could crush His small frame.

"It's okay," you say. That's all you really can say. You feel that there's nothing you can do or say to help the situation.

But what you said was all He wanted to hear. It was all He needed to hear. You feel Him turn and you find yourself staring at His back.

You press yourself against Him and He reaches for your hand.

You hate this silence. You hate how loud the silence is. You hate that He won't talk to you. He won't open up to you, He won't-

"I'm sorry," He whispers.

You want to tell Him to take it back. You want to tell Him that He hasn't done anything wrong.

You can't say anything again. Your voice is caught in your throat. You close your eyes and press your lips to His neck. You can feel His pulse under His skin.

You never want to hear Him apologize again.


End file.
